What the hell is Bell's Palsy? (and why do I have it?)

Let me preface this post with a thought: I think God might hate me.

Moving on.... Bell's Palsy is some weakening or complete paralysis of the facial nerve (usually on one side) that controls most facial expressions and can also affect taste, hearing, and speech. It is caused by any random virus, or in other words no one is really quite sure of the etiology. Naturally that sucks because if any of you really know me, you know that I ask way too many questions entirely too often. I like to be in the know. Anyway, so supposedly I have a mild case of this, which is really hard for me to believe seeing as I can't fully close my right eye; I cannot purse my lips together; I cannot taste anything on the right side of my mouth (and if I can it tastes very metallicy); oh------ and the big one for me is not being able to smile. I can only half smile, which just looks kind of creepy so I do my best to avoid it. Needless to say it has been a pretty depressing week. The doctors here keep trying to reassure me that everything is going to be ok, but there is no sure time frame on when it will go away, no certainty that it will, in fact, go away. All of the literature I have read says that I have a good chance at a full recovery, but nothing promises it. Apparently, the only real way of telling what will happen is time. I must say that this has been the longest week of my life.